she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
