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• (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

  Fav 10 1197 2245

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• (310): View more from California

  You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

  Fav 9 2375 6140

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

  Fav 12 4201 1518

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

  Fav 8 1282 3077

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• (619): View more from California

  For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

  Fav 14 2205 821

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.

  Fav 3 1076 657

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I learned so much about myself in that shower.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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• (917): View more from New York City

  My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.

  Fav 0 34 8

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• (845): View more from New York

  There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.

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