i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
