I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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