so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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