You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
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If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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