at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
