Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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