Who did Billy Mays play for?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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