I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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