Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
