grandma shit on top of the toilet
everyone is single if you try hard enough
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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