It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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