oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize