we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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