I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize