he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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