If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
