you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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