Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
