somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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