He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
