Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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