whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
