I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
