He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
