We won't sleep together?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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