Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
