Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize