ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
