Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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