Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
