Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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