I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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