Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
