I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
is wine microwaveable?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
