Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it hurts more in the daytime
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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