operation harelip BJ is a go
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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