oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
