I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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