I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
