So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
