This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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