She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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