y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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