I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
