u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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