i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize