i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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