Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Boobs speak an international language.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
