sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
