I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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