Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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