I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
