My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
