If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
two words...techno handjob
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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