I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
