Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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