Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The ass gains better be worth it
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